Tuesday, October 8, 2013

I was in a 3 year relationship. We then had to do long distance and it was hard. He began to be really insecure and he began to be very possessive and controlling. I know what you are thinking, how can he control me when he's so far away. I don't know, but it happened. Around that time one of my good friends was killed in a car crash, my boyfriend said sorry. I didn't want to talk to him I just wanted to cry and sleep. Well he began to get mad and said "I know your friend passed but that doesn't mean you get to ignore me, wtf text me back." After that text I went crazy and I broke up with me. He didn't take no as an answer and began to make threats that he was goin to commit suicide. The first couple of times I tried to break up with him, that suicide thing worked and I took him back. But not this time. I said, "Die then." He called me about 100 times that day and everyday for 5 months he called me atleast 50 times. Do not ask why I didn't change my number. What you don't know is that I had a nothing but guy friends and they were like my brothers except one, I saw him differently. He really liked me. I was like fuck it. I need to get over this dumb fuck. I accepted him and we began to date. We clearly didn't work out. We dated on and off for 8 months. It was chaos. 
He broke my heart and I thought I couldn't give another chance out. Typical 18 year old. Last December I finally got a chance with some guy that I had been crushing on for years. I can't explain the feeling I has for him. He broke my heart too. No nothing no explanation, no reason just one day he quit texting me. Just like my ex. He didn't give me a reason. I feel up to this day worthless. I mentioned my first relationship because he wished me the worst and said he had hoped I never found anybody and that he hoped everyone broke my heart. It's working. Whatever spell that he has over me. I hate myself so much.

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