Drinking

I been drinking since I was 14. I know, I am very ashamed. 6 years since I been drinking. I seriously do not even know where to start and how many problems it has caused. I hate it. I seriously didn't think I had a problem till yesterday. On my birthday I just wanted to get fucked up and forget about everything. I didn't. It did not work. I don't understand why I am addicted to this lifestyle. Fuck, I do not even know what lifestyle I live anymore. I have my head in school, but once out of school, drink drink drink. I need to stop. I swore to my mother it wasn't going to happen again, you know, coming home crawling because I had too much to drink. It happened again yesterday. She is not talking to me. My stomach is not agreeing. I seriously do think this is a wake up call. I know I am not of age, but fuck man. I need to change something. I need to come to an agreement.